4 Years! {at least not 40}

Before I dive in, for those of you who don't know the backstory... we had a precious lil boy {"D"} in our home from 2 years old until he was 5 1/2. Professionals in positions of authority made one bad decision after another and he was bounced in and out of our home several times. We agreed to take him back EVERY time and even agreed to proceed with adoption EVERY time we were asked... unfortunately Mom backed out each time. A truly evil judge took the very careless and flawed recommendation of the Guardian ad litem (ironically, the lawyer tasked with representing the best interest of the child) and placed him in the home of a relative KNOWN to be unsafe and inappropriate. Three years later, a phone call confirmed my {almost} worst fear: "Will you take him back? He has been severely and significantly abused." Well...of course.

So, fast forward through more than a year of battling and advocating since that phone call...

I have shouted my fair share of gripes about "the system" - especially DCFS in Chicago - but, it's definitely time for high praises!
1. Ashley, our case worker in IL (NOT in Cook Cty/Chicago) is a NICE person & a rock star. She has tackled the infamous Interstate Compact in record time.
2. Atty for D's mom. My favorite sentence out of her mouth: "Well, Judge, I would really like to get back into court in 3 weeks {wait?! what!!!??? Nothing happens in the foster world in 3 weeks} because we need to achieve permanency as soon as possible. *He agreed!
3. The Judge - who ran into us in Target and introduced himself ONLY by his first name and just chatted - is acknowledging the GROSS, continuous failure on the part of Cook Cty in this boy's life for NINE long YEARS and moving ahead at record speed making common sense decisions in the interest of the CHILD.
4. The current foster parents and all the other workers in the therapeutic program at Lutheran Social Services. I feel like I have to pinch myself when they continue to say things that make sense and make wise, loving, EXPEDIENT decisions for the sake of D!
5. BUT REALLY...God. I surrendered this kid to Him when a HORRIBLE court decision was made 4 years ago. I CHOSE to trust Him. {It was NOT easy.} When D was severely abused 3 years later, I resisted the temptation to resent Him. Instead, I got on my knees and prayed for a miracle - prayed BOLDLY that chains would be broken and mountains would be moved -  and I sensed God was writing an amazing redemption story.
And now...I am more excited than I have ever been to welcome D back into our family...AGAIN. ​

I remember telling Pete - after one.more.time of letting D go - that I would ALWAYS have room in our home and my heart for this child. {We never took his pictures off the walls!} I even told him I was fully prepared to answer a call someday and go pick up an adult D from prison if that was God's plan for me. Four years has seemed so long - TOO LONG. I stop myself when I start to daydream about how much better it would have been if he would have never left...or not left so often...or not left that gut-wrenching last time. I ache for what could have been, what should have been...and what did NOT have to happen. I desperately wish I could erase the pain and regain the YEARS lost. BUT...I chose instead to trust God, believe His promises and let him redeem beauty from these ugly ashes. His ways are not mine. What satan does to destroy families and children, God can use for His own glory. And, as I read my bible, I am thankful that this time of wandering in a proverbial desert waiting to get this child back has been ONLY 4 years - not 40. 

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